A quote I often find repeating in my head is from the movie “Hope Floats” that states:
I write this to you today with genuine curiosity, and a bit of concern.
There is so much focus on fear and anger today, that I think about you, as an individual -- and how you are processing and letting go of all that is flying towards you?
You can't log onto social media, skim a newspaper cover, or watch T.V., without seeing headlines and comments rooted in fear and anger.
You are human, so there is a good chance, that your emotions are being worked up by this very shift of focus.
There was a time when I was healing my heart from losing a love of 20 years. The person I thought I would spend my life with. During my healing journey I lived in Puerto Rico for a year, where I met Christine Gutierrez.
She is a Soul Sister, out on a mission to help better the lives of others. When it comes to relationships and sexuality, she is my go-to.
Please join Christine and I on February 2nd for a free webinar dedicated to your relationship with love. RSVP to Sahar@SaharPaz.com to get your webinar link.
DO YOU SMILE AT LOVE, OR DO YOU SMIRK AT THE THOUGHT?
YOUR INITIAL REACTION IS YOUR ANSWER.
WHAT GETS YOU TO THE POINT OF LOVING OR HATING LOVE?
STORY: IT'S YOUR STORY ABOUT WHAT LOVE SHOULD BE.
EXPECTATIONS: IT'S YOUR EXPECTATIONS OF GIVING AND RECEIVING LOVE.
WILLING: WHAT YOU ARE AND ARE NOT WILLING TO SETTLE FOR.
These three aspects, Story, Expectations, Willing, are exactly what Christine and I will be talking about on February 2nd.
The webinar is free, and for all to attend.
Once a week in February (15th, 21st, 28th) we are going to meet in a video chat for 90 minutes.
THE FIRST WEEK WE ARE GOING TO COVER: THE STORY.
WHAT IS YOUR STORY WITH LOVE?
WE ARE GOING TO TALK ABOUT YOUR JOURNEY WITH LOVE SO FAR. FROM PAST TO PRESENT. YOU CAN SPEND YOUR TIME IN THE SESSION FOCUSING ON ALL THE LOVE YOU HOLD FOR FRIENDS, FAMILY, AND YOUR ROMANTIC PARTNER - OR - YOU CAN FOCUS ON ONE.
What kind of love did you experience with your parents?
What is your relationship with love and friendship?
What about in your romantic relationships, what is your journey with love so far.
THE SECOND WEEK WE ARE GOING TO COVER: THE EXPECTATIONS
MANY OF US THINK THAT LOVE SHOULD LOOK AND ACT A CERTAIN WAY. THIS KEEPS US FROM ACCEPTING - OURSELVES AND OTHERS - AND THE LOVE COMMUNICATION GETS CRISS-CROSSED. THIS WEEK WE TALK ABOUT WHAT YOU EXPECT FROM LOVE.
How would you like love to show up day-to-day?
What about yourself are you not loving?
How are other people loving for you, that works for them, but does NOT work for you?
THE THIRD WEEK WE ARE GOING TO COVER: THE WILLINGNESS.
IT'S NOT ABNORMAL THAT YOUR EXPERIENCE WITH LOVE INCLUDES TIME THAT YOU GOT A LOVE UPGRADE - AN EXPERIENCE THAT SHOWED YOU WHAT YOUR KIND OF LOVE ACTS LIKE (AFFIRMATION VS. GIFTS). IT'S ALSO NORMAL FOR YOU TO HAVE SETTLED FOR LESS THAN WHAT YOU DESERVE.
What have you compromised in the past that you shouldn't have?
What is good experience, an upgrade in love, that you have experienced?
What are you willing to promise yourself about your love, and your worth.
As a man, anger is one of the few emotions you are given a right to.
Let's figure out what you're hiding behind your anger.
It's rare for boys to see their fathers, or men in their life, model emotions such a fear, sadness, and at times joy and creativity.
Anger tends to be the house where all the other stifled emotions are housed. Many of the men I coach are most comfortable with anger, and when we dig a little deeper, there is always fear and sadness.
A fear to face their emotions, especially sadness.
A fear to be seen as inadequate for being emotional.
I best sum it up as men are misunderstood.
First, by yourself, unsure of how to deal with emotions and not feel inadequate.
Second, society, and especially the women in your life, as much as we want you to be emotional, we don't always hold that space for you. ,
We have so tidily pushed you in your role to hold yourself and the world together.
I want to tell you that you WILL measure up.
I want to tell you there is no greater strength than radical honesty about what you are feeling.
I want to tell you it's okay, as a respectable man, to feel sadness, fear, anxiety, doubt, jealousy, joy, love, creativity, all of it, it is your birth right.
When you, as a man, show your emotions respect and understanding, you will naturally offer this to others.
You will communicate better, not through anger.
You will not feel defensive, and can listen and problem solve more impact-fully.
You will accept who you are, and begin to model what a conscious man looks, sounds, and feels like to your son, brother, father, or friend.
Here are a few questions to help you discover some of your emotional layers. Your masculine qualities of logic and analysis are useful here. Just bring your emotions into the mix. IT'S OKAY TO FEEL.
QUESTIONS TO CONSIDER...
Out side of your job, who are you?
What do you fear?
What - besides sex - makes you feel loved?
Who loves you? Who do YOU love?
What is your greatest regret?
What is your saddest memory? Why did this experience hurt so much?
Which of your attributes do you value the most? Name one person who values this in you. How do you feel because he or she does?
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