My Favorite Clap-Back

conscious leadership conversational intelligence emotional intelligence leadership communication leadership development Oct 28, 2020


Society has long-defined a person who has a "voice" as someone who speaks loudly, speaks over others, or has a deep voice. Every part of my work shows you that THIS IS NOT the only way to have a voice; from leadership consulting, developing online courses to creating personal brands, I champion your voice - YOUR WAY.

Last week at Own Your Voice Summit, I had a courageous attendee share in one of the live sessions about not being able to speak up in the moment, the immediate “clap back” that is oh-so-valued. 

My response to her will be the words of wisdom I share with you on today's episode 26 of the Own Your Voice Podcast.


  • What is my typical response? Does my voice adopt fight, flight, or freeze? 
  • Thinking back to when I wish I spoke up, what is it that I still want to say? 


  • How do I best express my voice? Written? Text message? Voice memo? Face-to-Face? 
  • Have the conversation. Don’t shy away from using your voice AFTER the exchange. With so much emphasis on how we respond immediately, we automatically rob ourselves of the chance to use our voice after the fact. The truth is many of us need to process before speaking up; that’s what makes you a conscious leader in your life, don’t focus on the immediate response; focus on what it is that you want to express. 
  • Be mindful of the energy exchange. Express your voice in the best way for the situation at hand. If you are setting a boundary with someone you see almost every day, a softer approach is probably better. A handwritten card, sticky note, or even a gentle voice memo after the fact often lands much better with the recipient.

Before you use the excuse that “the moment has passed,” or “I’ll say something next time,” I want you to consider this: Once the moment has passed, the emotions have settled, when you bring it back up, it allows everyone to know the importance of the topic at hand. 

It will not cause a confrontation; it will give you space to connect and GAIN RESPECT.


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All great leaders own their voice; this is something CEO, and entrepreneur Sahar Paz knows all too well. With over 20 years of experience coaching emotionally intelligent leaders, she's now bringing her renowned speaking style and personal branding advice to the podcast world to help listeners find AND own their voice. Sharing insights and anecdotes gained from real-world experience and industry research, Sahar delves into why it’s essential to lead with integrity and how the same person that stands in the bedroom stands in the boardroom. Subscribe to Own Your Voice on the podcast platform of your choice and find new episodes in your Wednesday feed. #OWNYOURVOICEPODCAST


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