PART 2: How to have emotions in a man's world.
As a man, anger is one of the few emotions you are given a right to.
Let's figure out what you're hiding behind your anger.
It's rare for boys to see their fathers, or men in their life, model emotions such a fear, sadness, and at times joy and creativity.
Anger tends to be the house where all the other stifled emotions are housed. Many of the men I coach are most comfortable with anger, and when we dig a little deeper, there is always fear and sadness.
A fear to face their emotions, especially sadness.
A fear to be seen as inadequate for being emotional.
I best sum it up as men are misunderstood.
First, by yourself, unsure of how to deal with emotions and not feel inadequate.
Second, society, and especially the women in your life, as much as we want you to be emotional, we don't always hold that space for you. ,
We have so tidily pushed you in your role to hold yourself and the world together.
I want to tell you that you WILL measure up.
I want to tell you there is no greater strength than radical honesty about what you are feeling.
I want to tell you it's okay, as a respectable man, to feel sadness, fear, anxiety, doubt, jealousy, joy, love, creativity, all of it, it is your birth right.
When you, as a man, show your emotions respect and understanding, you will naturally offer this to others.
You will communicate better, not through anger.
You will not feel defensive, and can listen and problem solve more impact-fully.
You will accept who you are, and begin to model what a conscious man looks, sounds, and feels like to your son, brother, father, or friend.
Here are a few questions to help you discover some of your emotional layers. Your masculine qualities of logic and analysis are useful here. Just bring your emotions into the mix. IT'S OKAY TO FEEL.
QUESTIONS TO CONSIDER...
Out side of your job, who are you?
What do you fear?
What - besides sex - makes you feel loved?
Who loves you? Who do YOU love?
What is your greatest regret?
What is your saddest memory? Why did this experience hurt so much?
Which of your attributes do you value the most? Name one person who values this in you. How do you feel because he or she does?
You may find this article interesting...